Harare North Read online

  Yakov, the Russian doctor, start talk to me. 'Traitors is very hard to kill,' I start telling him. 'That is why Grigori Rasputin was still fighting back even after he have been given enough cyanide to kill ten horses, shot many times and thrown into ice-cold river.' Russians was our comrades because before independence them guerrillas used to leave Zimbabwe to be trained in Russia. I don't know if Yakov know.

  Sekai, who is busy putting food on the table now, shoot out of room calling me to follow she to the kitchen. When I get to the kitchen she give me money and tell me to go buy more beer from corner shop. There's heaps of beer and wine in the fridge and she still want more?

  I come back from buying beer and everyone is already sitting at table and eating. There is no more chair for me to sit at table so I have to take my plate of food and sit on couch and eat quiet. Because I'm not talking to no one me I go to my room after eating.

  Sekai come to check things in my room when she hear she sausage dog crying. It was lying on my bed, me I tell she.

  'They say you are not entitled to get weekly benefit because you are our dependant,' Paul say as he put the phone down. That's because this morning there is letter that arrive for me from them immigration people talking about what I am allowed and not allowed to do in England. Paul give them phone call. Now it turn out I am not allowed to work until my asylum get approved. And I'm not even allowed benefit money. People say asylum sometimes take years to get approve.

  'Do you know what happen to things like people's graves when government takes over the area for mining?' I change subject now and ask Paul. He have degree in rural and urban planning. He just stare into the distance. I sniff sniff that he don't want to talk about this because last week Sekai have already say what is happening in Mother's village is because people like me have been supporting corrupt government. Now that emeralds have been discovered there we will soon hear that the area has been take over by some minister's company, that's what Sekai say.

  Shingi; I don't want to make worryful situation for him. I don't want to hang my problems around his neck. At school he have habit of disappearing when he get upset or don't like something but can't tell you straight and square. Me I don't want situation where I bring my problems to him and he hide from me. No one like people with problems.

  I don't have Shingi's address or phone number. But I have his email address.

  Paul and Sekai's computer have Internet but I don't even try to touch it.

  'Are you looking for graft?' Paul ask me. He know that me I am not supposed to look for job but now he say I can maybe try to find graft but I have to be careful because if they catch me, that's the end of me. I don't know if Paul trying to set me up or what. He even say I can use they Internet if I want although he don't think Internet will have jobs for people that have no work permit.

  'Feel free to use Internet,' he say. Me I nod and play like I am dumb native who have no self-motivate, even when I know that if I lay my finger on computer without permission, Sekai is going to put my arse in bin bag and throw it onto next flight back home.

  Because Sekai is still out on night duty, Paul even show me how to use they Internet and what not to do.

  Immigrant people's contribution to this country is equal to one Mars bar in every citizen's pocket every year. That's the first story I read when I start interneting. Sekai is busy putting Mars bars in other people's pockets but can jump on she relative if he touch she bread. That's Harare North for you.

  I spend tons of days interneting for graft when Sekai is not around but me I can't find no graft. There is nothing on Internet for someone who want to swing the hammer or pickaxe or push the broom.

  I send message to Shingi greeting him and wishing him well. I don't hear from him so I spend long time wondering if he is too busy.

  After weeks I hear from Shingi, telling me about how he have been too busy and have just move to Brixton and how he is now living in shared house with Aleck, someone that he have been connect to by Zimbabwean old man who recently start living in Brixton after running away from Zimbabwe because the police was after him. He is busy because now he is starting new graft with landscaping company in Wimbledon and his asylum application have been approve very fast. Asylum take years to get approve but his get approve in matter of months.

  Shingi is excite to hear from me and I tell him that he have not see nothing yet because soon, once I have settle in Harare North, me I can catch for him heaps of them London girls with they pointy shoes and sexy skirt. Shingi go kak kak kak kak.

  Shingi tell where he is now living and say it's OK if I come to visit him on Friday evening when he is back from his new graft. If he is not home I will find girl called Tsitsi to let me into they house; she is always home.

  Last month Paul give me £20 so I can use for transport if I have to travel and look for graft. That's what I take out of my suitcase and put inside my pocket.

  I don't want to spend most of Friday inside Paul and Sekai's house; it's better to spend day checking out Brixton and then meet Shingi in the evening.

  On Thursday evening I tell Paul that some friend from home want to put me on right road to graft so I have to go to Brixton early in morning but I have not travel on London Underground on my own before. If I get lost somewhere Paul and Sekai is maybe going to have big party and not bother look for me.

  Paul now want to be extra helpful to help me get to Brixton. In the morning, on his way to graft, he come with me on Central Line, and at Oxford Circus, he even take me to platform for Victoria Line that go to Brixton. I know he is trying to help me find the way out of they life, old Paul.

  On the train to Brixton I am wondering if Shingi have change since he come to London. Even at primary school he make me laugh when we play in the playground. But is he still also shy boy? One day during break time at school me I am on my own standing on the edge of the fishpond near the school playground eating my bread and looking at them fish that look like carrots. Shingi join me because everyone in class is still new and Shingi don't really have friends yet. I don't see him creeping up on me; the first thing I see is his reflection on surface of water in the fishpond. When our eyes clash, he get shy and soon disappear. I never talk to him again until the second term. By then Shingi have become the butt end of every joke in class because he have glasses that is so thick when he blink it look like two big butterflies have flutter they wings behind his glasses. Then one day the boy that sit next to Shingi want to put him in one big fix and shout at the top of his voice that Shingi have said that he want to fry Thoko in Olivine cooking oil. Now, Thoko is this big girl that sit in the front row in classroom and sometimes she come to school smelling of Olivine cooking oil because sometimes that's what she use because she mother cannot afford Vaseline. She have already take on two boys since beginning of the year because they make fun of she by saying she is ready to be fry. She mop the floor with them and make them look cheap.

  Now Shingi spend rest of the day in class cowering at the back of classroom saying he never say he want to fry anyone. But Thoko have already make announcement that she want to straighten him up after school.

  After school everyone looking forward to another fight and rush to the school gate to join Thoko and wait for Shingi. Shingi hide in the toilet and not come out. Everyone wait and wait but Shingi stay put inside toilet. Then after long time he uncoil himself and step out of toilet and out of school yard thinking that everyone have give up now, only to find Thoko and everyone further down the road under marula tree where everyone is eating marula fruit and waiting. Now, Shingi can't run back because it's too late. He deny everything – he deny that he have been hiding in toilet or that he said he want to fry Thoko. He even almost deny that his name is Shingi. But Thoko just want to show him what she can do. She have put she school bag down on the edge of the dusty road and have tuck she dress into she knickers' elastic hem-band like them girls do when they is playing netball. And as is usual with them fights, other classmates have rush to make them two sand
breasts in the middle of the path. One stand for Shingi's mother's breast and the other stand for Thoko's mother's breast. To make challenge Thoko kick Shingi's mother's breast into the air in that style, you know, like your mother's breast is rubbish. Now, Shingi is lugging eyes like thief that has just been catch, and without any way to frighten she, he kick Thoko's mother's breast, but he don't flatten it out because he don't want to get Thoko more vex. The fight now start and Shingi almost fainting. He throw half-dozen weak punches before Thoko land one clean cracking slap on his face and Shingi's glasses fly into the air. Now with bad vision, Shingi throw another bad effort. Thoko land another one on the other eye. That's when Shingi bawl for his mother: Maiwe Amai! Mama, Mamaa! I have to pick his glasses and give them to him while everyone piss they pants laughing. That's the first time I ever accompany him home. Me I tell him that next time someone want to fight him he should pick rocks, hit they head and chase them away.

  At Brixton station people is leaping into my face from every direction. None of them talk to each each. They is just pushing faces into mine and walking. They don't smile.

  I spend the day wandering around just looking at Brixton, them shops and the market that is so busy it feel like you have stick your head inside anthill. By afternoon I am bored and hungry so me I go sit on bench at bus stop and take out of my pocket the A–Z map that Paul lend me. Shingi don't live far from here.

  4

  It look like one heap of bricks that stand out from other houses because of its grey brick. That's the house where Shingi live. It have two top windows that have red brick arch. That make the windows look like big sad eyes. Below them sad eyes there is one large bay window that stick out like nose. When I look at the nose, the eyes and black parapet wall – this is Shingi straight and square. But you don't tell anyone that they head look like house if you still want to be friends.

  So, Shingi live inside this head?

  Tsitsi fling the door open when I knock. She is small girl with sharp look in she eye, nose as small as chicken poo dropping and face drawn tight over small skull. She have the fizzy behaviour of Coca-Cola drink but maybe it's she own kind of rural behaviour because she come from small village in Mashonaland East Province.

  She have just turn seventeen she say without me asking.

  She wear red-on-white polka-dot dress, one side slipping off she shoulder so the dress hang on she like scarecrow's drapes. She is also wearing yellow-flower headscarf on she head; tied twice over around she head, knotted first at the back and then at the front. She bite bottom lip like she is shy. She have one dimple on one cheek.

  Across she left cheek, the tail of one long thin scar maybe caused by snapping barbed wire, break in two as it jump over she left eye and start again above eyebrow before fading out on forehead. She eye have survive.

  She take me to the kitchen and the air smell of bad cooking and the sink have one heap of dirty dishes and all. It's like they lie there for donkey years. The ceiling on one corner is growing mushrooms and things.

  Rule No. 1: DON'T eat what you did not buy!

  Rule No. 2: DON'T eat what you did not buy!

  Rule No. 3: DON'T eat what is not yours!

  Rule No. 4: If you don't work you don't eat.

  Rule No. 5: Wash your pots and plates after eating, your mother is not here to wash them for you!

  That's them house rules on piece of paper that is stuck onto kitchen door. I have not finish reading all of them and Tsitsi already have got she hand over she mouth like she is trying to stop laughter coming out. Like I am visitor who was not supposed to have see this rudeness.

  She start cracking knuckles of she fingers with embarrassed smile and lead me out of kitchen.

  Shingi sleeps in the lounge; he share the room with Farayi. Two mattresses is on rotting floorboards, blankets all over, small heaps of things telling one story of big journey that is caused by them dreams that start far away in them townships. I can sniff sniff them natives' lives squatting under the low damp ceiling like thieves that have just been catch.

  Tsitsi is small girl and now being taken care of by Aleck who feel sorry for she, Shingi have tell me. She have run away from tyrant auntie who is married to doctor, so she say, and Shingi also tell me how she visa have now expire. Me I have hear this number before; like them other stories that come from abroad, it has been tell many times in townships: some poor relative is lift out of poverty and is taken to them big lights of foreign city, is made to babysit, cook great mountains of meals, make she hosts' bed every morning, even touching them things that should have been taboo for she to even see – things like the father of the house's underwear that is full of them skid marks. Soon this get father of the house's head all out of gear and he start wondering what else this hard-working thing can provide. It don't trouble him with clever argument like the wife do, and it is easy with everything he ask for. That always ends with the usual number playing: family scandal, disgraced man and, sometimes, unwanted baby.

  As soon as she have show me around the house Tsitsi throw sheself into inside cupboard, come out with can of sardines, and wasting no time, open it, pour it onto small plate and give it to me to eat. Then she heave she small skeleton onto the cupboard top, sit cross-legged, leaving me abandoned on the kitchen floor.

  She ask where I get them from, pointing at them my glasses.

  I don't want to tell she to heat them sardines for me.

  'You want bread?' She eyes bulge in they sockets like she head have just been hit by big idea. She head is cocked, one ear in front. She is expecting answer. Now I am not hungry.

  She head jump jump on she neck as she look at me, this small funny rural girl that want me to eat cold sardines.

  I put my plate of them sardines on cupboard and walk to the sink, pick empty water glass. The glass slip off my hand and come crashing on the edge of the sink bowl; it break and fill the kitchen with the kind of fright that fill the room when you have break your mother's bestest teapot. I look at Tsitsi and she hand is over she mouth like I have commit big crime.

  I go down on floor picking up them glass pieces. Tsitsi jump off the cupboard and run to get broom and dustpan from behind the kitchen door.

  'It's OK, don't worry,' she laugh. 'It's Farayi's glass.' She start to sweep glass from floor and I am just standing there. I pick my plate of sardines again to give my hands something to do. I put one sardine piece inside my mouth.

  From upstairs, some baby start to cry. Tsitsi drop everything and run to she room upstairs. She run back down with the baby.

  'I've bring you one big comrade,' she say standing by kitchen door. This is the baby that she have been telling me about. It's because of the baby that she say she have to go back to she aunt but she is too scared to go by sheself and want Aleck to accompany she.

  I have finish picking them glass so I follow she into lounge. She go to Shingi's bed. She tiny skeleton fold neat as she sit on the bed, crossing she legs and holding the baby close to she bosom. With one hand she pull she blouse up. She don't wear bra; she left breast jump out and hang like talisman. It look bigger than the other. She bring she baby closer, bending she back. Baby catch it like thief. I stand leaning against the wall watching.

  When she have finish feeding the baby she unfold she legs. As she get onto she feet, there is sound of ripping cloth. She turn around to look and there is one clean new slit running down she dress, from she bum all the way down and through hemline. Behind she, poking out of the mattress there is short rusty wire.

  As if nothing has happen, she put the baby on the bed, get up, pick he and start talking motherly gibberish to him. Then she turn to me and tell me to hold baby and help she put him on she back.

  I take the baby, hold him as she fall down on she hands and knees in front of me.

  'Put him on my back.'

  I step towards she, and place him on she back, flat on his stomach.

  Tsitsi want the shawl; I grab it from the mattress, stretch it out and put it on so it hang b
oth sides even. Tsitsi move she back up slightly, holding it horizontal as she grab them two ends of the shawl hanging on both sides of she torso. She pull them two ends down and across she ribcage where she hold them together with one hand while she stretch other hand out to tuck the shawl under the baby's bottom. She jerk baby up and begin to tie the two ends together. Then she stand up. With both hands holding together behind she, cupping baby bottom, she start to shake baby gently, shaking she back gently. Then she break into lullaby, and with she head leaning to one side she look like real mother.

  Ru ru mwana

  Ru ru mwana

  Mwana arikuchema

  Arikuchemerei?

  Arikuchemera bota

  Bota nderani?

  Nderekacheche

  Kacheche karipi?

  Shingi is still not home and here in the kitchen Farayi is throwing heap of stories at me.

  'I was teacher at mission school,' he say. You can tell straight away he is that kind of boy that don't break wind even under them blankets because that's where he do most of his prayers. He is the one that share room with Shingi and have live with Aleck from the beginning and know everything about who have live in the house before and have been telling me how he run away from his school where he was teaching religious education. He also have bum that bounce about inside his trousers in disorganised way like bunch of firewood that has not been tie properly.

  Without asking, I already know that he have graft at Tooting where recruitment agency put him to do photocopying and stationery for NHS. He juggle it with another graft at some fried chicken takeaway. His papers is not in order; he have do that style of getting visitor's visa and then stepping off with big plan to go back home on the 44th of the month. That's a more direct way; many people do that style because other ways is complicated. Like the Commonwealth visa thing I hear about before I come; they give you two years if you is under twenty-eight years. But you have to wait for months and me I have no time to do it. Also they want you to show that you have truckload of money before they give you visa because if you is poor then you end up desperate and start taking them Mars bars out of local people's pockets when you is supposed to put them inside.